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It's been years since I have seen your face yet your still are the one my dreams ache for. You are still the one I wonder of when times are quiet at night. The world stacked the odds against us... and we both believed it could work. Your family, my past, my sickness... all could have been overcome... but you were right.

Love don't pay the rent.

I tired to save love. I tried to save us even when I saw you give up. Even when I began to give up.

You never knew how difficult my life was and I sheltered you from the grim truth. I am slave to others greed. I am the sacrifice others gave to save their careers.

I am nearing the last year or so of my life. I know that I have met, had, and lost my life's love. I know that nothing will ever be good again. I know that my days are ruined and my nights are even worse. I know that my nightmares will just continue to get worse. I know tonight you are in other arms - ones that can provide you everything you so richly deserve.

I love you. I miss you. I wish I could see you one last time but I know this will never happen.

I know that I used to be a pretty amazing guy - but now I'm just the garbage that people wish would die. I know I'm broken and will never recover.

I know that this virus will kill me soon.... and that is the only thing that makes me smile.
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